Sunday, February 23, 2014
Wow 2 years...
I was just thinking about my time in the hospital tonight and it reminded me of the blog I did. My personal journal of the life I live. It's a shame really I was too forgetful and lazy to keep posting over the past 2 years because these things remind you of memories. I was just reading over my first post on here and a few others and it reminded me of my journey. Quite a long way I have come, mentally and physically. Challenged still arise all the time but I don't feel so hopeless now. Stress has been a factor lately but some point I'll learn how to manage it better. My doctors visits PFT numbers since my last post have either gone up or been stable. I feel like I am finally becoming me again but a better me. I'm in my 6th semester at MCC trying to finish my AA degree so I can move on to ASU (finally). I still hate school with all passion but thats because I'm still stuck doing the worst part of my bachelors, the General Education mandatory crap haha. I'm counting the days. I have been coughing up more blood lately because I think my lungs are just scarred so it's something to watch. I'm really glad I read over my posts. It brought back reality for me and how lucky I am right now to be in my home, be outside, be able to be free and go when I please. (Oh and by the way I have still stuck to my working out 4 days a week for who knows how long now) I can officially say I have stuck to something and for that I am proud. I am also proud of what I have accomplished in school the past 3 years. I'm 21 now and I am steps closer to the person I want to be. Just gotta keep fighting.
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You go, girl! Committing to something is a big fist step. At your age I was always being distracted by this and that. You are way ahead. Soon you will have college courses that are stimulating!!
ReplyDeleteLove you,
Aunt Janice
You are 21 right now, and that is exactly how long it took me to get my first degree--start to finish. At the time, I thought it would never end. Then I went on for my masters while I was teaching full time, and that took another ten years. After it was all over, I didn't regret it a bit.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. We're all proud of you for doing so much considering life's complications. Keep dreaming big! You will have time to accomplish everything you have ever dreamed of doing.
I have been thinking about your last post and meant to reply sooner. I think you might have to "lower your standards" for good grades in subjects you don't like! That's hard to do when you come from a place where you always do your best. But in the long term it's not worth it. In fact, there are "real" stresses from real difficulties and then there are the rest, the vast majority, that we create by thinking we have to "do this now, complete something by this deadline, be somewhere exactly on-time", etc. It seems arbitrary for your university to require you do all the basics first. Talk to a counselor. You may be able to start art classes sooner than you think. It might be more flexible then you think. I doubt seriously if you would be kicked out of college for taking some of these basics later or, at least, spread them around. Ask Mom or Dad to go with you to see someone there. When I was in college I never challenged authority but if I had had a parent to back me up, I would have. I once got a final grade of an "E" in a class I had a "B" average in going into the final exam. The final exam was only worth 10% of my grade so it wasn't possible for me to fail this class. Yet when I spoke with the teacher she just said it was correct. She never reviewed her records. I went to the Dean who just backed up the teacher. No one could be bothered. I wish I had parents that would have challenged this because I was nto very assertive at that age.
ReplyDeleteI am old enough now to know that stress can harm our health and waste our time. Say "no" to stress. Say "what's the worse that can happen if I don't do this?" I have always been super organized with a list of things to get done. Always this list hanging over me. Now I look at the list and think "what can I NOT do today?" Don't wait to be my age to gain this wisdom. Stress is our enemy. Our society creates plenty of opportunities for it - rush, jam in this and that, answers all these emails, on and on. It's like we're on a treadmill and we can't stop it. But we can and should.