This post is going to feel like a downer BUT it gives an important message at the end in Part 2 (coming soon) so bare with me! Lets start at the beginning...
I had another follow up visit to the doctors last Monday. I'd successfully been able to completely block this out of my mind the week prior. Obviously I worked out as hard as my body would let me but I focussed more on other things. Lex came down to coach too so that helped a lot. The morning of, I was still pretty good but could feel some anger creeping. I had a bad feeling and was particularily negative that day. I felt the fury when I saw the building. Like it was out to get me or trap me inside its prison. Ever since the 2 week hospital stay it's been harder and harder to look at it. I feel defensless. I personally felt great but often the numbers want to tell me otherwise. I sat anxiously in the room trying techniques to relax but I was having a tough time with control. Regretably I snapped at my mother because she just happened to be the first person I saw. I was clearly losing control over my emotions and just completely shutup before the raging bitch could come out even further. I have no idea why I had mentally felt so different this time from the last. What was wrong with me? Dr. Gong came in before the test and I felt a bit more at ease. I gave him a gift that I made.
A couple visits back Dr. Gong told me a personal story about himself. This was a first. He said that when he was a kid, he'd visit his grandparents in Hawaii and there was a really thick forest nearby. He always thought there were dinosaurs inside and was terrified of it. We laughed and the story stuck in my head. It was hard to think of him actually being afraid of anything. I photoshopped him a picture (shown below) of a boy running away from dinosaurs in a forest. I could tell by his face that he loved it and with that it was time for my test...
No comments:
Post a Comment