Windy

I'm sitting outside right now and the breeze is blowing, it's not too warm and I'm sitting under a couch which lies under a covered patio. It's still bright outside and I feel calm. 1 minute ago I was in my cave (bedroom) feeling depressed and gloomy staring at a computer screen studying. I really should remember to come outside more. I look around and I remember my past. Not bad but the good stuff. I date back to when I mentioned how lucky I was. We moved into this house 21 years ago and still remain in the same location. I have always been attached to this house because it's always been home, my only home. I know so many who don't have a place they can come back to and remember their lives there. I know this house is not perfect in the eyes of my parents. Since day one it has been a "project pit". I can't blame them for thinking that but at the same time there is not one place in or outside our house that doesn't have their stamp. I have a "Home" and that's something I'll always be proud to say.

As for school right now I am trying to stay as positive as possible. One day at a time. Finals are over in a week now and it's all I can think about. By far this has been my most challenging semester thus far which I expected. You just don't really know what you got yourself into though until you actually start though. I have a thing for quotes and I have been reminding myself of some lately to keep me from drowning in my own pool of stress. Today it was "Fear is not the enemy, it is the compass pointing you in the direction you need to grow." I realized how true this is. I need to grow still so much because my compass has been pointing north and I've been running south a good chunk of my life. Now that I've been trying to change my direction I see how many obstacles still lie ahead. I wonder if these challenges life gives us go on until our last days on earth or if they slow down. One thing is known, life is never a steady thing. Life is windy, and I still have a lot more wind to walk through.